I want my eternal family.

I was raised in the Church. I've always lived it, or tried to. About a year ago, I quit trying. I don't know what happened. I just wasn't feelin' it, and I thought that if you only do ONE thing your whole life, how do you know that's what's right or best for you? So I tried not doing it.

Today, we had a lesson on the Salt Lake Temple. When they first laid the foundation, they used sandstone, which has a tendency to crumble. Had they built this huge building on sandstone, there's no way it would have stood for as long as it had. President Brigham Young's vision was for this temple to last through the millenium. So they switched to granite.

I am rebuilding my foundation. On granite this time. I have been to the temple. My family is sealed together. Now it's time for me to earn that blessing.

Overweight.

I am overweight.
This is difficult for me to admit. I keep thinking of myself as skinny. I was always really slender growing up, and even after I'd had the girls and was "thicker" I still wasn't FAT. Sure, it took awhile to get into decent shape after having Libby, but it kind of came off mostly without trying too hard. When she was about a year old I started making an effort to really work out, and lost a lot of weight really fast. I'm talking 30 lbs or so in about 6 months. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with my drinking so much more water.

Now, to be fair, Jack is only 5 months old. He was ten pounds at birth, and I carried around a lot of extra water, which led to my belly getting more stretched out than before. My head knows WHY I look the way I do, but when I catch sight of myself in the mirror and recoil slightly, it really kicks my self-esteem in the butt. I lost about 20 pounds with Jack's birth (half of which was him, lol) but then gained about 6 back, and haven't lost it again. My weight goes up and down about 5 or so pounds. I am about 8-9 lbs lighter than I was when I delivered Libby.

This is really hard to admit, by the way.

Anyway, it's not the numbers the scale say that matter the most to me. It's how I feel, how I look, and how my clothes fit. I'm really not sure my hips are going to go back to where they were before Jack, though. Time will tell. Also, ever since Jack was born, I've had a mean sweet tooth. It's really hard to control what you're eating when you've never had to, before. But I'm a-gonna. I want to run a marathon by the time I'm 30. I want to be a good example to my children. I want to be active and energetic. What's the point in having kids young so you can play with your kids if you're too fat and tired to get up and run with them?!

I'm considering joining Weight Watchers. I think, before I do that, though, I need to just practice drinking water, doing little active things like walking to get the mail instead of driving, taking the kids on walks, etc. and also eating better, and watching my portions, as well.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. Maybe just to admit it out in the open. I'm not doing it to get compliments or for people to reassure me that I'm not that big or that I just had a baby. I know these things, but they don't change the fact that I'm not healthy and I'm not happy with myself, and things need to change. So. I'm declaring today, that they will. I hope to start making some real progress soon. Thanks for reading!

BONES!

This is easily the greatest show on television. I hate when I "find" a show, especially a drama with a really good storyline, after a season or two, and especially especially when I find it on a channel that plays the reruns, so the episodes are all out of order and I know I enjoy each one, but I also know I've missed a lot. The fun thing is that now that I have DVR, I don't have to watch TV listings like a hawk in order to see what's been going on! I just set it up to record every episode and watch it at my leisure. I'm still pretty confused, though. I love the sexual tension between Brennan and Booth. Of course it's cliche; the male and female partner, both superhot, kind of want each other even though they're trying not to. But, aside from the cliche, the banter and characters' personalities really cracks me up. Also, the science is really interesting. It calls to mind, though, an article I read in Popular Science discrediting some common forensics tools, based on the lack of a standard or measurement. I think it was the June or July issue from this year. You should try and get a hold of it. Also, did you know Emily Deschanel is a member of PETA? I guess she's a loony in real life, too! Haha.

I hate Mondays. I know it's totally boring and cliche to say so, but I really do. Now, to be fair, today hasn't been bad, but as a general rule, Mondays are teh suck. I guess some would say that I don't get to hate Mondays since I'm a stay-at-home mom, but Mondays are still difficult. Emily is not a morning person. Getting her out of bed is no picnic, even when she goes to bed nice and early. I've had to start threatening to spray her with water if she's not out of bed by a certain time. It works, too! I haven't had to spray her once. Her school has a really strict attendance/tardy policy, so it makes it hard. Also, I love the weekends. Aaron works really long days. He gets up at 4 am and doesn't get home until almost six most nights. We try and put the girls to bed by 8, so evenings aren't very relaxing with dinner, baths, brushing of teeth, and all that fun stuff. The weekends are a wonderful relief. I'm not so outnumbered by babies. We can both sleep in a little. I can get errands done. I can get my household chores done. I love weekends. Monday morning is always a disappointment. Sometimes it's a huge huge pain in my ass, but more often than not it's just frustrating. He's home every night, sure, but still I miss my husband.

Jack has this rash that I can't figure out. I'm racking my brains trying to make it go away.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

I guess I'm slowly and steadily making some friends. It's nice!
Before Aaron joined the Army, I didn't really have girlfriends. I hung out with my mom. We used to all hang out with a few neighbors and their families, but then they closed down student housing and when we moved apart we kind of lost touch. When we got to our first duty station, I thought, genuinely believed, that once we all grew up that the "drama," a word that is really overused but also really apt, stopped. I found that to be very untrue. So I got my little heart broken a few times, and learned to chain myself up a little tighter, and to trust my gut a little better. I've never been a great judge of character anyway, and then when I'd get a bad feeling about someone on our first meeting, I'd convince myself to give them a shot, only to be proven right later on. I'm still working on that. It's hard. I want people to like me and sometimes find myself not being true to myself for that end. I'm working on that, too. I've learned not to put all my emotional eggs in one basket, and that not everyone deserves the same amount of love/effort/time.

I'm a very social person by nature. I'm outgoing, and I tend to get frustrated and depressed when I'm not getting any interaction. I think that's why I enjoy Myspace and Facebook so much. It's something. I've met some really amazing people on there; some who I'm content being internet friends with and some who I know, if I lived nearby, I'd hang out with them as much as I could. Reconnecting with old friends is really fun, too.

When we first moved here, we met a woman at church. This is odd for me. In my adult life, I don't tend to be friends with other Mo'mos. I always feel like they're judging me for being a "bad Mormon" or that they don't take me seriously. I am a kidder, but I'm not an idiot. Anyway, she's really funny and sweet. We hang out a lot, and our kids all get along great. Even her two-year-old; he's really gentle with Jack and Jack looks at him like he's a god. It's adorable. We also are friends with our downstairs neighbors. He was in his last phase of officer's training and they have two young kids. We've hung out a few times. They invited us over a few weeks ago right before he went on his hardship tour, and we went out to lunch with her today. It was nice. She seems very mellow and levelheaded. Then, we went to the movies. Emily's been begging to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs for weeks and weeks, so, as a reward for doing so well at the dentist on Wednesday, we took her today.
This. Movie. Is. Hilarious. HIGH-larious, even. And it's not even like some kids' movies, that have kind of "adult" innuendos that make it funny for adults as well as kids. It's just good, clean, silly fun. I almost dropped the baby a couple times! Just a really really good time.

Now we're home, and our a/c's not working right. It's not hot, perse (is that how you spell that?), but it's uncomfortable warm.

On a side note, my kids are ridiculously cute. Emily sometimes grabs Libby's face in her hands and says, very forcefully, "You are SO CUTE!" I love it.

This is why Wal-Mart is evil.

Seriously, it's like a black hole. The place EMANATES pure, smiley evil. I'm not talking about the pushing small businesse out of business or the mass-produced Chinese plastic toys. I'm talking about how nothing good happens there! Yesterday our trip went like this.

I park next to a woman whose car has a sticker with the word "Punanni" on it. Classy, no? So I whipped out my phone to take a picture and send to www.peopleofwalmart.com, just like anyone would do. Then, as I go to disengage the brake on the stroller, my flip-flop breaks! Not just came apart. The damn thing broke. So I take off the flip and walk with the flop, and then throw them both away in the trash can at the front of the store. Then, what else can I do but proceed, barefoot, into the Wal-mart with my three young children in tow, thinking, "Someone's gonna take a picture of me and put it on People of Wal-mart!" A checker stared at me as I walked through, and when I said, "I'm not a redneck. My flip flop broke," she wouldn't even look at me. That's some harsh judgment, yo.
So we go to the shoe aisle and, being that it's October, the flip-flop selection leaves a little to be desired. I'm looking at ugly, $10 shoes, and complaining loudly that I'm not going to buy $10 shoes I don't even like, when a very kind stocker-lady directed me to another display where I could buy arguably more ugly flip-flops for only $3. God bless her. Remove tags. Don ugly flip-flops.
We get milk. Some little kid is acting crazy in the Wal-mart, as seems to be par for the course. Then, obviously, Libby starts acting crazy. I quickly got down on her level and told her just because some other kid acts insane, doesn't mean she gets to. I'm not his Mama but I am hers and I will lay down the law.
Emily is hungry. I say, "Let's get some fruit." We get bananas and a few peaches. As I'm picking out peaches, I notice Libby has a plum near her face. "What are you doing?" startles her so badly she throws the plum back on the display, it rolls down, and makes a big SPLAT noise. It takes us about 8 plums to figure out which one she'd taken a bite of. (After she picked it up and put it back. Good reason to wash your fruit, people.)
Time to check out! We wait in line. (Not the line of the judgey lady.) Get the the front and realize I left my check card at home, and I only have $6 in cash. I know exactly where it is. It's on the desk at home, where I left it after I paid the gas bill. But that's not very helpful at this moment. So. We don't NEED bananas and peaches. We NEED milk. I'm also required to pay for the flip-flops and the ruined plum. I turn to tell Libby to come here and she's SUCKING ON A PUSH POP! Dang, man. I fuss, "Elizabeth!" and she startles and throws it back on the shelf. Um, no. Bring. It. To. Me. So now I'm required to pay for ruined plum, ruined Push-Pop, ugly flip-flops, and milk. Libby even has the nerve to say, "Yay, now I can eat the candy!" Uh, yeah. That did not happen. My total came to $6.61 and I had enough change to pay for it.
Whew.

Yeah. THIS is why Wal-mart is evil. That place just ain't right.

Help plz I r compooter dumb

I want to be sent an email whenever one of the bloggers I follow posts a new blog. Does anyone know how to make that happen?

Adventures at Gordon

We live in Georgia now. Against our will, but it could definitely be worse. We stayed in a hotel for the first week we were here. We now have a great new apartment that's close to everything we'd want to go to; shopping, restaurants, post, the hospital. In Clarksville everything is so spread out. It takes 20 minutes to get to anywhere you might want to go except what's on post. Here, in 20 minutes we can be ordering appetizers! That's a really nice change. Our apartment is taking some getting used to. We haven't paid electricity in 3 years and I kept my old place frigid, let me tell you. Ask anyone. My good friend Anna called my house The Refrigerator. Here, we keep it on about 70, maybe a few degrees below, and the sun in the afternoon heats it up to 80. I think we need blackout curtains. Maybe our air doesn't work as well as it should, either. We're doing a wait and see thing to see if we need to report it to management. Also, we're upstairs. We have to constantly remind Libby to use her "quiet feet." My apartment actually reminds me a lot of my sister's. The layout is very similar. We have a little deck and a sliding glass door which is pretty but it lets in too much heat and it takes away a wall of the living room. We're going to have to put at least one chair in storage. The girls' rooms are nice and big, though. We haven't gotten delivery of our household goods yet. They wanted to deliver them the 8th, the first Monday we were here, but we hadn't even signed the lease yet, and I hadn't switched the gas and electricity over to my name (which is required for release of keys) and so I said no, figuring that if I relied on it happening then the apartment would fall through, and that I didn't want to go around expecting special treatment just because we're military. Soooo the 22nd it is. We rented a sleeper sofa, a queen-size bed, and a TV from Rent-A-Center to tide us over. It was ridiculously expensive but not nearly as bad as staying in a hotel for two more weeks would have been. Plus this way we can cook. We borrowed some kitchen stuff from ACS.
The other day we went and joined the YMCA and got the girls into swimming lessons and soccer. They're super duper excited. We're going to go this weekend to buy them cleats. Emily kept saying how she didn't want to take swimming lessons (yet she believes she will "float" in deep water!) but once we toured the facility and signed her up she got really excited. She packed her little duffel bag a week early, even. Their lessons start Monday. I'm eager for soccer to start, even though I know it'll be hot as balls. Aaron's wanted them in soccer for almost two years now but the program I would have gone through on Campbell, on post, had terrible communication that pissed me off and required them to be fully vaccinated, no exemptions accepted. I'm really excited that the Y doesn't even mention vaccines. Plus, they have a huge pool, workout room, aerobics classes, and no extra charge childcare for 2-hour blocks at a time, no appointment necessary, for while you work out. The childcare rooms are AWESOME too, dude. The 5-12 age group room has a full-on, Burger King style playcenter. Also, the gymnastics room has open play times so you can come in and let the kids jump on the mats, the pummel horse, the rings, all that stuff. We went to the pool yesterday and they have this big splash park, two kiddie pools with fountains and one big water slide. Emily went 8 times. We went to the mall today and picked up the girls' soccer gear. I don't think there's anything cuter than miniature sports gear, especially when it comes in pink! Tomorrow we're going to go and play all afternoon.
The kids are doing so well. They've adjusted wonderfully to all the changes, they adapted well to being in the hotel room. They are handling their first PCS move with incredible grace. (Well, first that they were really aware what was going on and could voice their feelings on the matter.) I really think they were just cut out to be military brats. I love my brats.