This is why Wal-Mart is evil.

Seriously, it's like a black hole. The place EMANATES pure, smiley evil. I'm not talking about the pushing small businesse out of business or the mass-produced Chinese plastic toys. I'm talking about how nothing good happens there! Yesterday our trip went like this.

I park next to a woman whose car has a sticker with the word "Punanni" on it. Classy, no? So I whipped out my phone to take a picture and send to www.peopleofwalmart.com, just like anyone would do. Then, as I go to disengage the brake on the stroller, my flip-flop breaks! Not just came apart. The damn thing broke. So I take off the flip and walk with the flop, and then throw them both away in the trash can at the front of the store. Then, what else can I do but proceed, barefoot, into the Wal-mart with my three young children in tow, thinking, "Someone's gonna take a picture of me and put it on People of Wal-mart!" A checker stared at me as I walked through, and when I said, "I'm not a redneck. My flip flop broke," she wouldn't even look at me. That's some harsh judgment, yo.
So we go to the shoe aisle and, being that it's October, the flip-flop selection leaves a little to be desired. I'm looking at ugly, $10 shoes, and complaining loudly that I'm not going to buy $10 shoes I don't even like, when a very kind stocker-lady directed me to another display where I could buy arguably more ugly flip-flops for only $3. God bless her. Remove tags. Don ugly flip-flops.
We get milk. Some little kid is acting crazy in the Wal-mart, as seems to be par for the course. Then, obviously, Libby starts acting crazy. I quickly got down on her level and told her just because some other kid acts insane, doesn't mean she gets to. I'm not his Mama but I am hers and I will lay down the law.
Emily is hungry. I say, "Let's get some fruit." We get bananas and a few peaches. As I'm picking out peaches, I notice Libby has a plum near her face. "What are you doing?" startles her so badly she throws the plum back on the display, it rolls down, and makes a big SPLAT noise. It takes us about 8 plums to figure out which one she'd taken a bite of. (After she picked it up and put it back. Good reason to wash your fruit, people.)
Time to check out! We wait in line. (Not the line of the judgey lady.) Get the the front and realize I left my check card at home, and I only have $6 in cash. I know exactly where it is. It's on the desk at home, where I left it after I paid the gas bill. But that's not very helpful at this moment. So. We don't NEED bananas and peaches. We NEED milk. I'm also required to pay for the flip-flops and the ruined plum. I turn to tell Libby to come here and she's SUCKING ON A PUSH POP! Dang, man. I fuss, "Elizabeth!" and she startles and throws it back on the shelf. Um, no. Bring. It. To. Me. So now I'm required to pay for ruined plum, ruined Push-Pop, ugly flip-flops, and milk. Libby even has the nerve to say, "Yay, now I can eat the candy!" Uh, yeah. That did not happen. My total came to $6.61 and I had enough change to pay for it.
Whew.

Yeah. THIS is why Wal-mart is evil. That place just ain't right.