Overweight.

I am overweight.
This is difficult for me to admit. I keep thinking of myself as skinny. I was always really slender growing up, and even after I'd had the girls and was "thicker" I still wasn't FAT. Sure, it took awhile to get into decent shape after having Libby, but it kind of came off mostly without trying too hard. When she was about a year old I started making an effort to really work out, and lost a lot of weight really fast. I'm talking 30 lbs or so in about 6 months. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with my drinking so much more water.

Now, to be fair, Jack is only 5 months old. He was ten pounds at birth, and I carried around a lot of extra water, which led to my belly getting more stretched out than before. My head knows WHY I look the way I do, but when I catch sight of myself in the mirror and recoil slightly, it really kicks my self-esteem in the butt. I lost about 20 pounds with Jack's birth (half of which was him, lol) but then gained about 6 back, and haven't lost it again. My weight goes up and down about 5 or so pounds. I am about 8-9 lbs lighter than I was when I delivered Libby.

This is really hard to admit, by the way.

Anyway, it's not the numbers the scale say that matter the most to me. It's how I feel, how I look, and how my clothes fit. I'm really not sure my hips are going to go back to where they were before Jack, though. Time will tell. Also, ever since Jack was born, I've had a mean sweet tooth. It's really hard to control what you're eating when you've never had to, before. But I'm a-gonna. I want to run a marathon by the time I'm 30. I want to be a good example to my children. I want to be active and energetic. What's the point in having kids young so you can play with your kids if you're too fat and tired to get up and run with them?!

I'm considering joining Weight Watchers. I think, before I do that, though, I need to just practice drinking water, doing little active things like walking to get the mail instead of driving, taking the kids on walks, etc. and also eating better, and watching my portions, as well.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. Maybe just to admit it out in the open. I'm not doing it to get compliments or for people to reassure me that I'm not that big or that I just had a baby. I know these things, but they don't change the fact that I'm not healthy and I'm not happy with myself, and things need to change. So. I'm declaring today, that they will. I hope to start making some real progress soon. Thanks for reading!