Today I attended the memorial service for Ronii Evilla-Grace. I keep trying to write something about her to describe to you how wonderful she was and what a waste this situation is, how unfair it is for everyone involved and I keep hitting backspace. Maybe it's because I didn't really know her all that well. I knew how she made me feel. I trusted her with my life, and with the life of my unborn baby. I'd have followed her to the ends of the earth if she'd thought it was what was best for Jack and me. My heart knew her. That she was kind, gentle, and soothing. That I truly enjoyed her company and looked forward to our meetings. That the way she gave advice was gentle, yet adamant. So like the mother she was and always will be. I knew she was taking good care of me, that she would continue to take good care of me. I felt no qualms or nervousness about having her deliver my child. Even when I was having trouble with my amniotic fluid and feared cord prolapse and c-section, I knew she would do whatever it took to make sure Jack and I were healthy. Her demeanor was so calm and competent. I don't know how one could have ever felt anything but peace in her presence.
I wish I'd known her better. I'd only met her about 8 or so months ago, and only been under her care for 6 weeks. I wish I'd known her longer. I wanted her. I still want her. I loved her a lot more than you would think 6 weeks could allow. I can't possibly convey what a huge waste this loss is, for everyone involved.
Her children range in age from early 20's to not-quite-two. It's such a shame for any mother to die when her children are too young to remember her, but I'm happy for the babies that they have their older siblings to remind them of what a wonderful person she was. They love her very very much, you could tell by their tears and their anger at the unfairness of it all. For her husband, who is grief-stricken. For her children, angry and heartbroken at the loss of their precious mama. For the church she was so active in, for the community she worked so hard to better, for the clients like myself who trusted her. Of course her children are angry.
How do you blog a life? To borrow the words of her son, I could stand here and spout words for years and never ever do her an ounce of justice.
Where she brought light, there is now only darkness. The world is better for having known her and bleaker for having lost her.
May her grace be with us always.
I wish I'd known her better. I'd only met her about 8 or so months ago, and only been under her care for 6 weeks. I wish I'd known her longer. I wanted her. I still want her. I loved her a lot more than you would think 6 weeks could allow. I can't possibly convey what a huge waste this loss is, for everyone involved.
Her children range in age from early 20's to not-quite-two. It's such a shame for any mother to die when her children are too young to remember her, but I'm happy for the babies that they have their older siblings to remind them of what a wonderful person she was. They love her very very much, you could tell by their tears and their anger at the unfairness of it all. For her husband, who is grief-stricken. For her children, angry and heartbroken at the loss of their precious mama. For the church she was so active in, for the community she worked so hard to better, for the clients like myself who trusted her. Of course her children are angry.
How do you blog a life? To borrow the words of her son, I could stand here and spout words for years and never ever do her an ounce of justice.
Where she brought light, there is now only darkness. The world is better for having known her and bleaker for having lost her.
May her grace be with us always.
How very sad, Betsy. How did she die? What happened? I can only imagine how lost you'd feel. I felt the same way about my OB as you felt/feel about her. Like you said, ANY mother dying is tragic but to have such young children who won't really remember their mom.....it breaks my heart. I've been keeping you in my thoughts. Love you lots, sweetie. Keep your head up.
ReplyDeletei'm glad that someone as amazing as her existed. im glad she touched so many lives and welcomed so many into the world. im glad that you met her and were touched and inspired by her. im sorry that she was taken so early and that i missed out on her but im sure there is a message in her life and in her passing. to give all that you have and to love and nurture all life.
ReplyDeletei think you did a beautiful job of blogging about her.